![\"\"](\"http:\/\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7459\/9616400689_70afcd968e_z_d.jpg\")
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By Paolo Shaoul<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n This summer has been an insufferably\u00a0long one.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In fact it seems like an eternity since we were last all together, experiencing the thrills and spills, the highs and lows of the greatest sport known to man. And now following two months of intrigue and intense debating about\u00a0who’s going to change sides and who’s going to remain loyal, we’ve finally reached the start of a glorious new season.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Yes parliament is back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now, this is the time of year when fantasy football fanatics the nation over are to be seen pouring over budgets and congratulating themselves continually over their ‘hilarious’ dream team name.\u00a0So here at Elysium Magazine, to mark the start of\u00a0British politics’ very own new “season”, we’re selecting our very own “Cabinet Dream Team” – a veritable feast of personality, celebrity and talent from every walk of life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n First things first, the budget. We’ve awarded ourselves a grand total of \u00a31billion to secure some really tasty names and as with any fantasy team, we’ve gone for a blend of youth and experience. Secondly, our dream team will be made up of predominantly\u00a0British men and women – but we’ve allowed ourselves a\u00a0“flair” pick from outside the UK – just to spice it up a little. Here’s our ‘dream cabinet team’ – what about yours?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Karren Brady<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a385m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Will wear any opposition down with her unswerving determination and\u00a0graceful beauty.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> David Beckham<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a325m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Inoffensive, well-liked and unlikely to rock the boat. Even unlikelier to\u00a0argue with Karren.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Arsene Wenger<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a376m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Exceptionally tight with money and\u00a0will only spend if absolutely\u00a0necessary.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Susanna Reid<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a3117m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Understands “life in Britain”, the media and how to use it. Is also the\u00a0woman that other women want to emulate and men want to marry\u00a0the most. And when has any British Home Secretary ever had those\u00a0credentials?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Stephen Fry<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a382m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Who else would be better – and more articulate – at representing\u00a0British interests abroad?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Levi Roots<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a3100m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Levi embodies everything good about making it in modern day\u00a0Britain.\u00a0From a market stall\u00a0in Brixton to a global business empire \u2013\u00a0and all while playing\u00a0a guitar. Let’s face it he’d inspire a lot more\u00a0people than\u00a0Vince Cable.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Shaun Ryder<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a3125m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Shaun knows exactly what is good and what is bad for us. Healthy\u00a0living isn’t all about abstaining; it’s about being happy and fulfilled and\u00a0doing what you want. Which is exactly where Shaun comes in.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> J.K. Rowling<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a3185m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Well who\u00a0would you\u00a0rather\u00a0educate our children\u00a0–\u00a0the world’s most\u00a0magical and inventive\u00a0writer.\u00a0Or\u00a0Michael Gove?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Rowan Atkinson<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a398m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> You really do need a good sense of humour to deal with the British penal system.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Frank Bruno<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a335m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Let\u2019s face it you wouldn’t f**k with Frank.\u00a0 In fact you’re more likely to want to\u00a0cuddle him, which is a far greater deterrent than\u00a0WMDs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Sir Bradley Wiggins<\/p>\n Cost:<\/strong> \u00a3100m<\/p>\n Why?<\/strong> Will get everyone travelling with far more style and panache<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Environment Secretary:\u00a0<\/b>Banksy\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n Wales<\/b> Secretary:\u00a0<\/b>Shirley Bassey<\/p>\n Scotland<\/b> Secretary:\u00a0<\/b>Sean Connery<\/p>\n N.Ireland Secretary:\u00a0<\/b>Adele<\/p>\n Chief Whip:\u00a0<\/b>Cynthia Payne<\/p>\n Work & Pensions Secretary:\u00a0<\/b>Bez<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Think you have a better Cabinet line-up than our man Paolo? Let us know who makes the cut in your Cabinet Dream Team via Twitter<\/span><\/a><\/span> or Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/span>!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What if British Parliament was selected in the same way as fantasy football? It’s an intriguing idea Paolo Shaoul puts to the test when deciding who makes the cut in his very own ‘Cabinet Dream Team’.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8759,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[268],"tags":[2284,1285,2338,1303,456,2337,2350,2349,2348,2339,2346,2341,2344,2336,2340,2347,2345,2343,2342],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/9616400689_70afcd968e_z_d.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6774"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6774"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6774\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6786,"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6774\/revisions\/6786"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8759"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elysium-uk.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}1.\u00a0 Position: Prime Minister<\/b><\/h4>\n
2.\u00a0 Position: Deputy Prime Minister<\/b><\/h4>\n
3. Position: Chancellor of the Exchequer<\/b><\/h4>\n
4.\u00a0 Position: Home Secretary<\/b><\/h4>\n
5.\u00a0 Position: Foreign Secretary<\/b><\/h4>\n
6.\u00a0 Position: Business Secretary<\/b><\/h4>\n
7.\u00a0 Position: Health Secretary<\/b><\/h4>\n
8.\u00a0 Position: Education Secretary<\/b><\/h4>\n
9.\u00a0 Position: Justice Secretary<\/b><\/h4>\n
10.\u00a0 Position: Defence Secretary<\/b><\/h4>\n
11.\u00a0 Position: Transport Secretary<\/b><\/h4>\n
Subs Bench:<\/span><\/b><\/h4>\n