By Paolo Shaoul, the latest addition to Elysium Towers
They said it should – and could – never happen but for one month (and one time only) in July 2012, will see the first football coalition of Great Britain’s only ever football team since 1972 united in a way that will send shivers down Alex Salmond’s spine.
Should there be rejoicing in the streets amongst our Anglo and Celtic brethren – or is it all going to end in the apocalyptic way certain Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish association members would have us believe? Well, neither really, but we’re all hoping for a good show of football at least.
So, putting all the rather unnecessary political jockeying aside (Lord Sepp Blatter said it would be OK, so why worry?), let’s get down to the nitty gritty of the actual football – who the hell do you actually pick? First the rules – this is an under 23 tournament essentially but competing nations are allowed three “older” players. Cue mass Beckham hysteria.
Now, I for one do not believe for one minute that Becks is one of the three best over age players who are not already going to Euro 2012 (anyone involved in the Euros cannot be considered for the Olympics). Giggs and Scholes are certainly ahead of him on that count. But where does that leave the likes of Hargreaves, Owen and Bellamy?
Let’s cut to the chase, if Becks was picked it would be purely for commercial reasons – and I’m not falling for that old chestnut. No, my team – my Olympic British fantasy dream team – will be way more exciting than that…
Formation: 4-3-3 for fluid and flexible interchanging play
Goalkeeper: Rob Green or Paul Robinson (England) – 1 x OVER AGE
You only have to look at David De Gea’s woeful start to his Manchester United career to see that “you don’t win anything with kid goalies”.
That said, who’d want a keeper who, let’s face it, helped more than most to make the summer of 2010 a pretty miserable experience for England. Nonetheless, experience between the sticks is everything – so I’m plumping for one of the old’uns. Robinson or Green, both genius shot stoppers, both prone to the odd lapse. But do you really want a British De Gea?
Full Backs: Ryan Bertrand + Micah Richards (England/N. Ireland) – 1 X OVER AGE
Exciting Chelsea prospect Bertrand is Ashley Cole’s left back understudy, so mentoring is clearly not a problem there – although he should steer clear when Cole is carrying his air rifle. As for Richards, who didn’t get a look in under Capello – this may obviously be to Pearce’s gain unless the new England boss sees the light. If there is a finer right back operating in the Premiership, my name is Lemon Popsicle.
Centre Backs: James Tomkins + Chris Smalling (England)
The two London boys would make an impressive pairing at the heart of the defence. Ball-playing, versatile, skilful and both very quick. Just what you need when Lionel Messi’s bearing down on you eh?
Midfield: Aaron Ramsey, Paul Scholes (CAPT) and Gareth Bale (Wales/England) – 1 X OVER AGE
OK so there’s no guarantee Sir Scholesy will do it but let’s just dream. The nearest thing we have to a footballing genius. To have this man in the centre of the park controlling and inspiring would be simply marvellous. Can you think of a better captain for the kids? Sorry Giggsy no room for you too!
As for the rest of the midfield triumvirate – the energy and vision of Ramsey on the right allied to Bale’s blistering pace and skill on the left make this a “well tasty midfield”. Or a good blend of youth and experience.
Strikers: Conor Wickham, Robert Hall and Jordan Rhodes (England/Scotland)
I think we all know that the likes of Chamberlain, Sturridge and Wellbeck will be Poland & Ukraine bound. This gives Britain’s current most prolific striker (move over Mr Van Persie) his chance on the big stage. Jordan Rhodes is THE hottest goalscorer to play in the second tier since Andy Cole terrorised defences for Newcastle in the early 90s. The boy is sensational and will be ably supported by the next big thing from West Ham’s academy, Robert Hall and Sunderland’s £8m man (or boy) Conor Wickham.
So there you have it, the Great Britain Olympic team (potentially). Messi et all will be trembling in their Olympic jerseys at the prospect of meeting this lot. I think.
Think you can mastermind a better Team GB Football line-up? Let us know who you’d draft in on Twitter @Elysiummag